Saturday, January 14, 2017

Say Bye, Bye, Obama...

Here was a parody I wrote back in the fall of 2015 about our Outgoing President (thank Allah!), Obama, and the way he would use his slick talent for rhetoric in service of his disastrously soft approach to the metastasizing problem of a global revival of Islam in our time.  It was occasioned by the news story of the American off-duty military man who, along with his two buddies, saved the lives of the passengers of a train he was riding in France, from a Muslim terrorist intent on a mass shooting.  The headline read:

“Spencer Stone, the US Air Force serviceman who stopped him in his tracks, was today personally commended by President Barack Obama.”

My parody:

From the special press conference:

President Obama:

“Yesterday on a passenger train from France to Amsterdam three valiant Americans stepped in to do the right thing. I want to commend Airman Spencer Stone, standing here to my left, for risking his life to save the lives of other innocent persons on that train, by tackling and immobilizing a member of the Tiny Minority of Extremists Who Have Nothing To Do With Islam -- a salutary endeavor that helps us see the problem of terrorism for what it is: not a war against Islam or against Muslims, but a recalibration effort calculated to reconfigure and reboot our geopolitical security in the face of a very small, indeed tiny, fraction of twisted individuals who have nothing to do with Islam. Did I say this terrorist has nothing to do with Islam? Let me repeat…”

Reporter for the Washington Post: “Mr. President! Now that our brave citizens helped foil this latest terror plot, what is your assessment of our overall Struggle Against People Who Have Nothing To Do With Islam?”

President: “Whoa, Jerry! I didn’t even need my trusty old Chicago Cubs mitt to catch that softball! [patter & flutter of laughter]. To answer your very good question, I can say that our Holding Action Against the Non-Islamic Forces that Threaten Our 56 States -- er, I mean 51 States -- is on a cautiously hopeful uptick, as long as we stay the course, rely upon our national reserves of integrity and decency under the law of nations, look forward with optimism to the future, and continue putting our right hand forward in the shape of the traditional politician’s fist with thumb sticking up as an emphatic gesture of good old-fashioned American stick-to-itiveness!”

Applause all around.

President:  “Time for one more question -- yes, Pete....”

Peter Baker of the New York Times: “Thank you Mr. President; will you please bless my infant child with your holy palm?”


Nobody said...

Hesp, I'd do what Debbie Schlussel does, and avoid capitalizing allah, even though it's a proper noun. Just write it as 'allah', since that's another way of slighting Mr Mohammed's sock puppet

As for Obama, he should run for the head of the OIC, given how dear Islamic groups - from the Muslim Brotherhood to CAIR have been to him

Hesperado said...

I understand where you and Debbie are coming from on this, but I happen to disagree. It seems ineffectual to me to resort to such orthographic taunts.